I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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