google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
