If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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