I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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