There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
