I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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