please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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