I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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