Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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