went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize