Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
