Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!

(317): View more from Indiana

Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?

(630): View more from Illinois

Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos

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(816): View more from Missouri

You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.

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(760): View more from California

I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?

(609): View more from New Jersey

dont start drinking without me

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(315): View more from New York

Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..

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(630): View more from Illinois

Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.

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(214): View more from Texas

If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you

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(519): View more from Ontario

We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms

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