She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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