Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
