i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
