i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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