i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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