5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
