His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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