I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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