Can i not drive my cunt home
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
