No awkward lesbian experiences without me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
