If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize