nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
