i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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