we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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