I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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