She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
