If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
