My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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