But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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