Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
and she was petting her beer can
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
