I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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