i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
