Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
