dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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