we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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