I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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