do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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