My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
