ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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