Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
