and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
