Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
