K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
