The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
im on a boat
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