just tell him i said nine months
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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