even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
