Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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