She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
