He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize