I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she peed on how many people?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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