if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
