I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
it glows. i had to have it.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize