ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
farters have to be the big spoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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