My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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