I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
