either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
