so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
