i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
