mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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