Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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