Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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