I like my sex mixed with concussions.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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